


You Left a Mark On Me, a Golden Tattoo

by Asphyxia



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora shows affection like a cat does, Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Pining, and Catra appreciates it, no beta we die like men, nothing but wholesome content, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29975865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asphyxia/pseuds/Asphyxia
Summary: Growing up with Catra means that Adora learned to show affection in much the same way a magicat does, and Catra notices more and more as they grow up all the ways she shows her she loves her in a language only they can speak...even more when she's her girlfriend.(just a fluffy little fic centered on the idea of Catra's feline behaviors imprinting on Adora and the examples of it over the years)
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 254





	You Left a Mark On Me, a Golden Tattoo

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! I've been working on this fic for ages but I kept getting distracted by starting others and by having to work on other obligations but it's finally here!
> 
> Special thanks to Potatis who got me all excited about this idea and chattered with me about the concept in a comment thread and who left me a bunch of very supportive comments! Thank you for encouraging my headcanons asdfgh I appreciate it.
> 
> This fic very very vaguely mentions something that happens in [my Catra and Adora meeting fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526258) but you don't have to read it for it to make sense at all, it just contains the first instance of Adora purring in the canon of this fic universe. 
> 
> Title is from "Dress" by Taylor Swift because I'm a lesbian so I love Taylor Swift and also it's my favorite Catradora song so...

It doesn’t really occur to Catra that it’s strange that Adora tries to purr. Sure, she’s not a cat, but she does spend all her time with Catra, and Catra purrs, so it doesn’t strike Catra as strange. Not really. Not until Lonnie points it out. It’s embarrassing; Catra doesn’t like anyone to know she purrs, so she’s sure Adora doesn’t either. 

Luckily, she’s not the one purring, not the one who gets caught. Just Adora. They’re fifteen. Junior cadets. Catra just finished receiving a—luckily verbal this time—admonishment from Shadow Weaver about getting in Adora’s way during training, and she’s trying not to be visibly distraught and angry, but failing miserably. Adora can tell. She can always tell. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, and Catra just grumbles and shrugs the hand that Adora places on her shoulder off rather roughly. She wants Adora’s affection. She wants it more than she can even say, but she doesn’t know how to accept it. It feels forbidden, in a way, when the love in her heart that she carries like a cross has muscled its way past the innocent warmth of a lifelong friendship and has found purchase in the treacherous seas of romance and passionate stirring. It feels like she’s breaking the rules. Adora looks wounded, and at first it makes Catra feel guilty but it twists into irritation, irrationally, and she turns away from the blonde, scowling and crossing her arms across her chest. 

“Why do you care?” she growls, though of course she knows why Adora cares; she’s her friend. They care about each other. They always have. They’re in the locker room and it’s almost time for their shift in the showers, but neither of them has even started getting undressed or collecting their towels. The rows and rows of identical green lockers swim a little in Catra’s vision as she tries to pretend she isn’t upset, isn’t wanting to tear up.

“Catra…” Adora says softly, and her tone stops Catra in her tracks. There’s something almost bleedingly soft in it, a tenderness that sends a tiny shiver down Catra’s spine and all the way down to the tip of her tail. It makes her almost afraid and her instincts tell her to jump away, because she can’t reconcile the way Adora is looking at her. Her eyes are so soft. There’s a lump of uncertainty in Catra’s chest. Adora touches her shoulder again and then hugs her, bumping Catra’s back into the lockers behind her. “I’m really sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Catra asks incredulously, scowling and blushing at the same time as she cautiously brings her arms up to return the embrace weakly. 

“I don’t know what she said to you but it seems like it really bothered you.”

Catra doesn’t even want to think about it. “Don’t worry about it, Adora.” 

Adora squeezes her a little and squishes her cheek against Catra’s. Catra can feel her shoulders relax a bit and she melts into Adora’s arms, letting herself have this for just a moment. It isn’t like they don’t normally hug. They’re friends after all. But the older they get the more achingly obvious it is to Catra how it affects her to be close to Adora like this…and how obvious it is that Adora doesn’t feel the same. 

Adora is holding onto her tightly and pressing her cheek closer to Catra’s as she starts to make that familiar growly humming sound deep in her throat. It doesn’t really sound like a purr at all, but she’s been doing it since they were five when she was trying to cheer her up after accidentally making her cry and Catra’s honestly glad she hasn’t stopped. Despite the crushing feeling she’s trying to shut out from Shadow Weaver’s words not ten minutes ago, she can feel a smile creeping over her face, her cheeks warm. She closes her eyes and leans into Adora’s embrace, not entirely sure where all of this is coming from but deciding to let herself enjoy it for just a moment. 

“You’re such an idiot,” she breathes, trying to sound playful, but her voice comes out breathless and… _weird_ instead. “You know that doesn’t even sound like a purr, right?”

Adora stops just long enough to laugh softly. “I don’t care,” she tells her, a light and breathy teasing in her voice that makes Catra’s stomach twist. And then Adora is purring again and Catra just keeps her eyes closed, tilting her cheek into Adora’s and feeling her face heat up even more. For the briefest of moments, she almost considers saying something, almost breaks her self-control long enough to put maybe…at least a few words to the bubble in her chest, so Adora knows what she’s feeling, against her best judgment…

Quickly, she crushes it. Absolutely not. She squeezes her eyes shut even tighter, squishing Adora in her arms as hard as she feels is comfortable, trying to hold onto what they have with all her might. 

“What are you two doing?”

Lonnie’s voice echoes against the high ceiling of the locker room and Catra disengages from Adora quickly, causing Adora to step back with a sheepish look on her face. It’s a relief that Adora’s cheeks are a little red too. 

“Hugging, Lonnie. Ever heard of it?” Catra answers carelessly, giving her a dismissive gesture with her hand. 

“Thanks for the lesson,” Lonnie answers, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I don’t mean that. I mean those weird noises you were making.” She’s gesturing to Adora. “You sounded like you were choking to death.”

“I was purring,” Adora admits, and Catra is actually impressed that she would actually say something that embarrassing out loud. Lonnie raises an eyebrow, and if she wasn’t so confused Catra can assume she would probably be laughing. 

“ _Purring_? Why? That’s pretty weird, you know?” 

“Leave her alone, Lonnie. She can purr if she wants to, okay?” Catra growls at her, her tail lashing angrily. Lonnie rolls her eyes and opens her locker, giving them a side glance as she starts to strip methodically in the standard Horde fashion. 

“My bad,” Lonnie says as she straightens up,a towel slung over her shoulder. There’s a note of danger in her voice. “I didn’t mean to mess with your _girlfriend_.” 

Catra’s eyes narrow, her cheeks burning as she strides in Lonnie’s direction with her tail lashing violently. There’s something about her mocking use of that word that burns deep in Catra’s core, something that makes her feel embarrassed and exposed and it bubbles over into something molten and dangerous that makes her claws flex and unsheathe as she approaches the other girl. Normally, Adora steps back and lets her do whatever she’s going to do when it comes to altercations; Catra has made it clear that she has no interest in being talked down from her rage. But she can feel the blonde grab her arm this time with a bit of urgency.

“Catra…” she warns, her fingertips kneading into her skin a little. “You already got into trouble today. This isn’t a good idea.” 

“Stay out of this, Adora,” Catra hisses at her with more venom than she means to, and Adora steps back, glaring at her a little. Catra can’t be bothered to care about that, however. All she can think about is directing this fuming and bubbling desperation she feels toward Lonnie until she can make it stop. Lonnie has been watching her this whole time, unimpressed, but when it’s clear Catra has no intention of backing down she throws her towel at Adora’s face and makes two fists. 

“Are you gonna let me take my shower, or are you really gonna try to fight me?” she grumbles, and Catra pounces.

Luckily, it isn’t Shadow Weaver who catches them fighting this time, but one of the Force Captains. Catra and Lonnie are stuck helping wash trays in the cafeteria and scrubbing the latrines for the next week. 

But it’s worth it. Definitely worth it. Catra knows this when she gets back to the barracks that night and sees the tops of Adora’s ears redden when she catches her eye and they smile. 

*****

Catra likes to tell Adora she loves her without actually saying it. 

There are a lot of ways she does it. Wrapping her tail around her ankle when they sit beside each other in the cafeteria during meals. Flexing her claws gently against the side of Adora’s wrist when they hold hands walking back to the barracks after changing out of their sparring clothes, showing her that even with claws this sharp she’ll never hurt her. Purring quietly when they sit shoulder to shoulder when no one else is around to hear. But her favorite, and the most intimate, is The Blink. 

She does it slowly, deliberately, when their eyes are locked. She does it when they lay in the dark, face to face at the top of Adora’s bed when she can coax her up from the bottom. She does it when they look at each other when they’re laughing after tussling on the floor of the locker room after a good sparring session. She does it when they sit face to face on the roof in that secret place only they know about and talk about their future. She does it when they lock eyes across a training room while listening to a particularly boring lecture on why they need to train their every best so they can make it to Senior Cadets. She does it whenever she can. 

They are sixteen, and Adora is whispering softly to her about something stupid Kyle said earlier in the day. She’s yanked Catra insistently up to the top of the bed with her and they’re squeezed onto the small mattress side by side, face to face, their noses only centimeters apart to account for the tiny space. Adora’s whispers are bright and funny but Catra is only half listening because she’s just staring at Adora. She’s even prettier up close than she is from far away and it strikes her that no one else gets to see her up this close. No one else probably ever has. Something about this idea makes her breath catch in her throat, makes her cheeks flame and her skin break out in goosebumps. She’s the only one who gets to be this close to Adora. There’s an ache in her chest and she reaches out and cups Adora’s cheek without thinking, a small gesture that has a gentleness she’s never touched her with before. Adora stops talking the second her hand makes contact, her eyes widening just a fraction and a tiny sound escaping her throat. 

They don’t tend to be very gentle with each other, so Catra’s thumb is clumsy as its pad draws tiny circles on a spot near the corner of her mouth where it fell. Adora is just watching her now, and her breathing is shallow but quiet, and the look on her face is one of slight confusion, but there’s trust there. She looks open, expectant. For just the briefest of moments, there’s an unspoken question in the air. Catra almost loses her mind, almost closes the gap between her lips and Adora’s and kisses her with every bit of the painful repressed longing that feels like it’s taken up every inch of the space in her body for years. Almost. 

Instead, Catra swallows the urge and retains her sanity. Instead, she continues to draw tiny circles on Adora’s face with all the gentleness she knows how to muster with hands that have been taught to fight and to claw, that can rip metal. She does The Blink, as slowly and tenderly as she knows how, and her heartbeat rips against her ribs when Adora does it back. 

_’What?’_

“Adora…” her own voice sounds alien to her ears. There’s too much waver in it. It doesn’t sound like her own. Adora just smiles at her and does it again. Catra returns the gesture with reverence, her hand on Adora’s cheek trembling. “Do you know what it means?” she asks softly, and her voice is trembling too. Embarrassing. Adora nods, and even in the dimness of the room Catra’s sensitive eyes can pick up the flush that crosses her cheeks. 

“Yeah,” she whispers, nodding a little under Catra’s hand. 

“Oh…” Catra stumbles over the word like she’s never spoken before. She doesn’t know what else to say. 

“Me too,” Adora whispers, and it’s the sweetest thing Catra has ever heard. Her cheeks are hot and she slams her eyes closed because she can’t look at Adora right now. She knows what it means. It means ‘I love you’. She knows that Adora doesn’t mean it the way Catra means it. She can’t. It isn’t possible. Her brain can’t even hold feebly onto the hope of that idea. But Adora is her friend and she loves her, and it’s enough. It’s more than enough. She opens her eyes into Adora’s, and they purr. They purr together, until they fall asleep. She sleeps with Adora’s cheek in her hand all night, and they sweat. Her palm sweats so much that by morning Adora has a fresh pimple where Catra’s palm was. They laugh about it over and over until it fades into a tiny red scar and then into nothing. 

Until then, every time Catra looks at it, her heart swims. 

*****

The wind blows Catra’s hair into Adora’s face. 

It always does, but Adora splutters and shoves her every time, laughing and squirming out of its trajectory. 

“It’s getting in my mouth,” she shrieks, giggling as Catra scoots back over to her so her hair will fly in her face, and Adora snorts and pushes at her. “Catra stop it!” she doesn’t sound like she wants her to stop, though, Catra notes. She sounds delighted. There’s always something different about it when they spend time together up here, in the place on the roof that no one else knows about. It’s like the parts of them that are soldiers are left down below on the ground and up here they just float above everything else, a truer version of their honest selves. 

“You love it,” Catra teases, pushing her shoulder into Adora’s, and Adora pushes back. 

“I absolutely do not!” she tells her, still snort-laughing and pushing Catra’s hair out of her face idly with one hand as she swings her legs. They’re both dangling their legs over the side of the roof like they’re lording over everything they can see. Etheria stretches out in all directions around them, hazy in the distance and as indistinct as Catra’s wishes for the future. They are eighteen and they’re finally Senior Cadets. Soon they’ll be real, legitimate Horde Soldiers and Adora will most likely be Force Captain and they’ll be that much closer to taking over the world together.

It’s exciting to think about the future, to think about what will happen, but Catra doesn’t really _care_ about that. All she cares about is them being together. All she cares about is being by Adora’s side as she does…whatever. Catra knows Adora is going to accomplish everything she wants to do, knows she’s going to make Force Captain and just keep advancing, as far as she wants to, until she’s taken over completely and they have the run of the place. But it doesn’t matter to her at all what they’re doing, as long as she’s with Adora. Being with her is good enough for her. She’ll endure whatever it is Shadow Weaver wants to throw at her, whatever training-related injury she has to suffer through, whatever happens, as long as she can be by Adora’s side. She’s safe in the knowledge that Adora feels the same. 

Smiling a little to herself, Catra shoves her shoulder into Adora’s, who shrieks, clearly almost losing her balance, and then shoves back. 

“Quit it,” she warns, but she’s laughing and her eyes and scrunched shut tightly as she throws her head back and then turns to look at Catra. “You’re absolutely impossible!” 

“I am, aren’t I?” she purrs, leaning in a little closer so her hair flies into Adora’s face again. This time, Adora twists around and shoves her down to pin her against the rooftop, flat on her back, and holds her down by the shoulders laughing and snorting cheerfully and the pure and simple happiness in her face makes Catra’s heart soar. As she straddles her, Adora is grinning at her, but her brows are furrowed, and there’s a look of playful danger in her eyes. 

“Completely,” she replies, eyes locked with Catra’s, and for a long moment they simply stare into each other’s eyes. Catra’s smiling cheekily at her, one fang poking over her lip, and Adora wiggles her eyebrows at her. Some of her hair is escaping from her poof and hanging down against her cheek. Catra reflexively reaches up and tucks it behind her ear, and Adora’s cheeks redden inexplicably. She’s still looking her in the eye, but there’s something soft there that makes Catra’s chest clench, makes her hold her breath as she continues to meet those pale blue eyes. Adora looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t, opting apparently for just smiling at Catra warmly, apparently forgetting about her onslaught against her with her hair for the time being. Luckily. 

It seems like everything around them has frozen in place, like time has stopped and it’s just the two of them up here, in this secret place no one knows about, and the world centers around them two of them, around the warmth of the two points where Adora’s hands are pressing down on Catra’s shoulders, of the two points where her knees are pressed to the outsides of Catra’s legs. The warmth of—oh god—the little press of their chests together when she leans down and bumps her forehead against Catra’s lightly in a way that Catra has done to her countless times in the past, a little gesture of affection that up until now she’s thought Adora never paid much attention to. But it’s clear she was wrong now and it makes her heartbeat pick up a little more. Adora is so close and she’s warm and she’s _here_. She’s so beautiful and she’s so perfect and she’s everything Catra could ever want or need and she’s on top of her she’s on top of her looking down at her like she’s the whole world to her too and Catra’s leaning her head up searching for hers, and Adora is answering her plea and leaning down to bump her forehead against hers again but this time she leaves it where it is and they just. Look at each other. Foreheads pressed together, eyes locked, and they’re barely breathing. 

Adora whispers her name, so quietly, and Catra whispers hers back. It sounds almost like a prayer. There’s something that hangs there so heavily between them, a question Catra is scared to even let herself understand, let alone answer. For a long time they just stare, and they stay like that until their foreheads are sweaty in the areas that touch each other’s, until the hard surface of the roof starts to hurt Catra’s back. Adora releases Catra’s shoulders and lowers herself to rest her forearms on the roof on either side of Catra’s upper arms as she lowers her face into the crook of her neck. Catra’s heart is hammering and she leans her cheek into Adora’s hair, inhaling the scent of the basic shampoo they all use in the Horde and feeling her cheeks heat up. 

As the wind picks up again, Catra loops her arms around her best friend, holding her in place, and Adora slides her arms around her neck to return the embrace. In this new position she can feel Adora’s warm body meshing with hers and it feels so normal, so natural, like they were meant to do this. She’s warm. So warm. Catra’s fingertips trace tiny circles on Adora’s back, her claws periodically catching on the fabric of that silly red standard issue jacket she wears. Adora hums softly when she touches her, pressing her cheek into her neck, and Catra’s heart skips a beat, maybe two. 

They tend to be fairly affectionate with each other, but this feels different. Maybe it’s because they’re on the roof, their special place where they can just be themselves. Maybe it’s because of how many years have passed between them since Catra first started feeling this way, maybe now it’s come to a head. Whatever the reason, her heart is racing and it’s flowering, blooming into a thousand bright petals of…love. Of longing and need for the girl on top of her. She presses a kiss firmly into Adora’s hair, and she knows she feels it. She hums again and the arms around Catra’s neck tighten. Catra’s heart is going crazy now and she kisses her hair again, the corner of her mouth catching the shell of Adora’s ear. Adora shifts and she’s kissing Catra’s jaw, right along the fringe of fur there. She kisses her there three times in a straight line right up to her ear and then her lips brush along the edge of it. Catra’s ear twitches involuntarily and Adora’s soft laugh at it is the most beautiful thing she’s ever heard. 

“It isn’t funny,” she tells the blonde, breathlessly, and Adora kisses her jaw again.

“Sure it isn’t.” Her voice is playful, and Catra’s heart is hammering so hard against her ribs she worries it’s going to burst. Adora brushes her lips over her ear again, and it twitches again while she dissolves into giggles. Catra could live in the sound of her laughter, she decides. She could live her whole life in it and die in it and she wouldn’t miss anything else. Catra turns her head a little and her cheek presses to Adora’s, and Adora winds her fingers through her hair and they just stay that way. It could be minutes or hours, but it doesn’t matter. Catra wants to kiss her again, her hair or her cheek or her ear, whatever she can reach, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t because she’s afraid that if she does she won’t be able to stop herself. That she’ll kiss her mouth and she’ll kiss it over and over and pull her in and love her in all the ways she wants to, but she knows it isn’t what Adora would want. Adora doesn’t want her that way. She can’t. Catra can’t even let her brain go down a road that could suggest she ever could. 

Catra doesn’t kiss her. She stays still, like she’s in stasis, letting their breathing and even their heartbeats sync in perfect harmony, feeling Adora’s warmth and her presence. It doesn’t matter that Adora doesn’t love her the way Catra does her. She’s here and that’s all Catra cares about. She’s too afraid, maybe too _unworthy_ to let herself want more. Adora’s all she wants, however she can have her. Sometimes it’s running and pushing each other and giggling in the halls to the locker room. Sometimes it’s just sparring with each other every time, only ever each other, so no one else can hit them too hard or _wrong_ , protecting each other. And sometimes it’s lying on the roof, holding each other and letting the sun sink down around them, painting Adora’s hair in shades of pink and orange against Catra’s cheek. 

“It’s probably almost dinner,” Adora says so softly after a long, long time. But it isn’t long enough. She straightens up as she says it, and Catra almost cries at the loss of her warmth, of her body pressed to almost every inch of her own. She wants it back, wants to beg for it, shamefully. But instead she nods, sitting up when Adora climbs off of her and pushing her hair back. 

“Yeah…” she helps Adora to her feet; it’s obvious her legs are asleep. “Come on you big dummy. I hear it’s gonna be the gray kind tonight.”

“Really? Awesome,” the genuine excitement in her voice melts Catra’s heart and she pushes her a little, laughing when she stumbles over her own feet. 

“Loser. You get way too excited about that.” _’I hope you never stop being excited about that.’_

“Uhhhhh, _yeah_. ‘Cause it’s exciting.” Adora sticks her tongue out at her and Catra just laughs. “I’m gonna need your help getting down, I think. My feet are still kinda tingly.” 

“You’re hopeless,” Catra tells her fondly, reaching out a hand to she can guide her down the complicated route from here. Adora takes it and Catra feels a guilty little thrill in the fact that she gets a head rush when she holds Adora’s hand, even when it’s with the pretense of helping her clamber down from their spot, and Adora has no idea. “What would you ever do without me?”

“I’d drop dead,” Adora tells her with feigned melodrama, and Catra grins, slipping down first to take some of her best friend’s weight. 

“Never,” she tells her with the same exaggerated tone. “If you ever tried to die on me, I’d stop you. Wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.” 

Adora keeps holding Catra’s hand all the way until the reach the doors to the cafeteria. 

*****

Space is…so quiet.

In the Fright Zone, there are always sounds. Machinery groaning and soldiers talking and laughing in the halls. Nameless beeps and hydraulic hisses of doors opening and closing. In space the only sound is the indistinct and soft hum of the strange ship that carries them toward Etheria. Toward home. 

It’s strange. Everything about it is strange. The heavy silence that seems to press in on her, in every quiet corridor, in the room where she sleeps. The only break in the silence is the chatter of the other residents of the ship—Darla, Entrapta calls her; Catra thinks it’s weird to name a ship—and the laughter that seems to ring out every time they’re all together. Catra is getting used to being around the people on this ship in a capacity besides attacking each other on sight, but she’s slowly starting to manage. Eating the strange, delicious dumplings that Glimmer makes, sitting with them all on the floor and listening to them talk. Bow and Glimmer and Adora are comfortable with each other in a way that would have upset her in a different time, but now it’s…nice. Even Entrapta seems to get along with them well when she’s not off tinkering with the ship. It’s like they don’t remember they were on different sides before this. Like they don’t remember Catra was. 

“You should eat something,” Adora tells her with a smile, holding out an open can of something that smells edible with some of that weird writing only Adora can read on the label. Catra sniffs at the air and the unfamiliar smell makes her ears flatten. She’s still a little on edge though she’s gotten much better since Adora rescued her from Horde Prime. “I know it’s not like the food you’re used to but it’s definitely okay to eat. Entrapta analyzed it first and I already had a can so I know it’s okay. You’ll need your strength when we get back home.”

_Home_.

Catra wants to be good for Adora and she takes the can from her. Adora is still smiling encouragingly at her and she takes a piece of the food from the can delicately with her claws and sniffs at it carefully before putting it in her mouth. It’s salty and a little dry but it isn’t terrible so she chews and swallows it slowly before she reaches for another piece. Then another. Catra has finished almost the whole can before she even realizes. Apparently she was hungrier than she thought. It’s true she hasn’t eaten since she woke up today, but her hunger didn’t register until now. So what if it’s just some weird First Ones’ food that’s been sitting on this ship for who knows how long? It’s still food and she’s suddenly ravenous.

Adora is still watching her and she looks up to meet her eyes. There’s nothing but fondness there and it’s like Adora’s forgotten everything that happened between them, like she doesn’t even care how much Catra did to hurt her and Etheria and her—their? Bow says Catra is their friend too—friends. It’s almost too much to handle and Catra turns away from her with a start and Adora makes a little humming sound, a soft one no one but Catra would be able to pick up, but her sensitive ears can make it out loud and clear. 

“Are you okay?” Adora asks after a moment. 

“Huh?” 

“You seem distracted today. Is something bothering you? You can talk to me, if you want.” Adora’s voice is soft and comforting and it makes something warm stir in Catra’s chest, a smile playing at her lips even with the conflict rising in her chest. It strikes Catra that Adora has changed since the last time they were together like this, but it isn’t in a bad way. She seems softer somehow, some of those sharp edges the Horde cultivated in the both of them smoothed a little after spending three years away from all of that. Before, Catra resented her for leaving, but now she’s glad. It’s clearly been good for her. Adora is still the same stubborn girl she grew up with but she’s a few shades gentler now, more well-adjusted, better at caring about others. Catra wants to change too, for her. She wants to be someone who will never have to worry about hurting her again. She looks up at Adora. She’s sitting on the floor, and Adora is leaning down to get closer to her eye level. 

“That’s okay. You’ve got enough to worry about. We’ve gotta be getting close, right? To Etheria? Won’t you have a lot to do when we land?” She finishes her food and sets the can aside. 

Adora’s hand lands on her shoulder, and the warmth of the two fingers that land on bare skin rather than on her bodysuit seems to flow straight into her heart and all the way down to the tips of her toes. She gives her a gentle squeeze and Catra lifts her hand and places it on top of hers. Adora’s cheeks flush a bit. 

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll get through it together,” she tells her firmly, and all of a sudden Catra is so overcome by admiration for her and the way she’s so determined to pull through for her friends that she can barely speak. “It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me.” 

“Ugh…” Catra gives in, tilting her head back before meeting Adora’s eyes, and she’s still smiling at her. “You really do wanna listen to me whine, don’t you?”

“Only if you want to. I don’t want you to talk if you don’t feel up to it. But if you do…” Adora straightens up and strides with confident steps over to the captain’s chair, sitting down in it and making herself comfortable before patting her thighs with one hand. “Then you should probably sit somewhere more comfortable than the floor.” 

Catra raises an eyebrow, her cheeks warming. Quickly, she glances around the room. They’re the only two in the cockpit. The only other current occupant is Melog, who is currently snoozing behind the chair, soft little noises mingling with the steady hum of the ship. They’re alone. So maybe it wouldn’t be too embarrassing?

“You didn’t seem too happy the last time I tried to sit there,” she tells Adora with a smirk, and Adora counters it with a playful grin. 

“I was trying to concentrate last time. Besides, you were just trying to be annoying.”

“Did I succeed?” Catra purrs, standing up and resting a hand on her hip. Adora laughs, her head falling back against the back of the chair as she does, and Catra’s chest tightens pleasantly at that familiar sound, at the sight of her looking so happy and almost…relaxed? Maybe relaxed—There’s a first time for everything after all. She feels she’ll never get tired of that laugh. Adora finishes laughing and smiles at her, her eyes glistening, and Catra can’t help smiling back, her tail swishing happily as she walks over to Adora who’s waiting for her expectantly, trustingly, openly.

Adora’s lap is just as warm as it was last time, but this time Adora’s got her legs arranged right to accommodate her and she’s soft and yielding as Catra arranges her tail comfortably so it isn’t squished between them. She’s so close to her that Catra can smell her and she smells so familiar but there’s a new smell on top of it. Catra leans in a little, her nose just a few centimeters from Adora’s hair. There, that’s where it’s coming from. It smells warm and sweet, almost sugary.

“New shampoo?” she asks, and Adora looks startled before she chuckles, touching her own hair reflexively. 

“You could say that. Glimmer gave me some of hers when I first got to Bright Moon and I’ve just kept using the same stuff. I don’t really know what it is. Why?”

“Smells different.” It’s nothing like that bland Horde shampoo they used all those years. Now that Catra thinks of it her hair looks shinier, too. Maybe Glimmer has the right idea. Adora raises an eyebrow, grinning at her in that familiar goofy, ridiculous way that inexplicably makes her heart start to pound. 

“Why are you smelling me?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Catra bristles a little, her fur standing on end. “It’s kinda hard not to,” she tells her, working on holding her temper back, staying calm. “You’re _right_ there! You wanted me to sit on you, remember?” 

Adora laughs again and Catra’s irritation dissolves like sugar in water. She rubs Catra’s forearm briefly, a gesture of goodwill it seems. Her fingertips are so warm and gentle against her, her callouses pleasantly rough and the pressure she puts into her caresses making Catra’s worries disappear. She can feel the warmth leeching through the thin layer of fur there to her skin and melting away every care she’s ever had. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Adora tells her warmly, her eyes sparkling, and Catra gets lost in them a little more than she means to. “I didn’t mean to pick on you too much. So you wanted talk to me, right?”

“Huh? Oh.” Catra had forgotten about that. “I guess so.” For a moment the silence just hangs between them, surprisingly comfortable despite the things on Catra’s mind. She struggles to put the things she’s thinking about into words, to sort out how to say it without sounding like she’s somehow _complaining_ about the warm acceptance of Adora and her friends. Just as she’s starting to get frustrated, she feels Adora squeeze her arm, and she looks up and sees nothing but warmth in those pale eyes.

“It’s okay,” Adora tells her in the softest voice she’s ever heard. Her cheeks burn. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s like a promise rather than just a reassurance, and at those words the last of Catra’s unease crumbles away and it’s easier to put words to the things she’s feeling. Adora really isn’t going anywhere, is she? She came back for her, risked her life just to keep her safe. Catra has to be worth that, has to make it up to her somehow. Being honest with her seems like a good start. Slowly, she clears her throat.

“I just…how can you all be so okay with me? I mean…after everything that happened. Everything I _did_ to you. You’re just willing to forgive me that easily? I can’t stop thinking about it. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s like you all forgot about it, like it doesn’t…like it doesn’t even matter.” There’s a bit of tension in the air. She can feel it. She instantly regrets bringing it up at all. In the air between them a heaviness grows, as palpable as the warmth of Adora’s hand on her arm, which has since stilled. “How can you do that? Just…pretend it didn’t even happen. So easily. How can you seriously all be this nice to me after…after everything I did? I wouldn’t blame you if you locked me in the brig and handed me over to what’s left of the Horde when we get back to Etheria and instead you’re…acting like my friends.” She’s been looking down as she speaks, and when she looks up Adora is watching her with a frown on her face, a kind of wistful sadness in those pale eyes. 

“Catra…” she says after a long moment, squeezing her arm where her hand still sits. “We _are_ your friends.”

“Why do you wanna be?” Catra’s voice raises a little more than she wants it to and she focuses on keeping herself calm. “All I’ve ever done is hurt you!”

“That’s not true,” Adora argues, her brow still furrowed but her expression gentle. “You’ve _always_ been my friend, Catra. Bow and Glimmer wanna be your friends because they like you. It’s not that…we forgot about what happened. It’s not like we’re pretending it didn’t happen. But…” she trails off and looks upward, like she’s hoping the right words will be floating up there for her to grasp. When she looks back at Catra, her expression is determined. “It doesn’t matter now. You did what you did to protect Glimmer when there was no way you were going to get away with it…when you knew what he might do to you. You’ve changed, Catra. You’re trying to take a different path than you were before. You said you were sorry. And that’s more than enough for us to give you a chance.”

“Adora…” Catra isn’t really sure what to say, and her throat feels tight. There’s no way, absolutely no way, that she’s going to cry. Not now, not like this. Not when she’s already made Adora put up with so many of her outbursts. She closes her eyes, willing herself to stay calm, and when she opens them she realizes Adora’s eyes are wet too. No way. 

“I never gave up on you,” Adora promises, and though it’s the second time she’s said it since she brought her back to the ship it carries more weight when she’s less closed off, more receptive to the girl who’s sitting with her in her lap, touching her arm so gently that it’s like she thinks she might break her. Catra throws her arms around her neck and Adora’s arms come up to wrap around her back in turn, instantly like she was expecting it. Catra clings to her like she’s the last thing holding her to solid ground and Adora cradles her so, so tenderly in her arms like she _deserves_ it, like she’s something worth holding and protecting even after everything she’s done and Catra almost _believes_ it. Adora’s touch is so powerful even in its tenderness and Catra finds herself purring noisily, her tail flicking happily against Adora’s leg. 

When Catra starts to purr, Adora’s arms pull her a little closer, and she feels her warmth melting into her and soothing her stiff body and she feels like she’s meant to hold her like this, like it’s the most natural thing in the world and there isn’t three years and countless battles and hurtful words and bad blood between them at all. Like it could really be the same as it was back in the Horde. It feels so easy, to hold her and be held like this and it feels like it did the last time they held each other but _better_ because there aren’t those misunderstandings or rules or conventions holding them apart. It’s just them, like it was on the roof but even closer, and when Catra feels Adora’s fingers kneading into her back, her flat blunt nails digging rhythmically into her in the same way Catra’s claws used to into her years ago, she breaks. Her tears start to fall down her cheeks, hot and bitter and so cathartic. Adora just keeps kneading her gently like a cat as she cradles her to her chest like she’s something precious, and Catra lets down the last of her barriers and she just cries. 

It feels good to just crumble into Adora like this, after so long of them holding back from each other, so long of having to be strong. Adora just lets her cry and now and then she feels the wetness of a tear fall onto her hair, but she doesn’t say anything and Adora doesn’t either. They just cling to each other like they’re holding each other to reality. They’ve touched a lot since she came onto the ship; a brush of a hand to the arm, a comforting hand on the shoulder, a quick hug here and there, all usually initiated by Adora. The other times pale in comparison to this. It feels open and honest with nothing held back. Catra cries until her head hurts and her tears have run dry and Adora just holds her close until she starts to calm down. When she’s done they just sit there like that, holding each other in the silence as stars and galaxies skim past the ship’s glass front. Adora keeps kneading her, and Catra starts doing it back. 

For a long time they don’t move. An unspoken question grows between them, heavier and heavier until Catra draws back to look at Adora, finding her eyes and the tip of her nose red. So she’s been crying too. Catra suspected it, but wasn’t sure. They just lock eyes for a moment, the words Catra wants to say getting caught in her throat. Her cheeks flush and so do Adora’s. Her lips are so close right now, and they’re an even prettier shade than Catra remembers. 

“I uh…” Adora starts, making Catra’s heart start to pound. They lean in a little closer, just a little closer, and Adora’s eyes are a bit wider than normal. Catra can feel that hers are too. Are they seriously going to—

“Oh good! You two are in here! I need a little help. I could have sworn I left my smaller screw driver in the kitchen but I can’t seem to find it. The last place I can actually remember _using it_ is in here when I was working on some of Darla’s circuits. So have you seen it?” Entrapta’s voice cuts into the silence so absolutely suddenly that Catra’s fur spikes up and she digs her claws into Adora, who yelps. Catra had been so consumed she didn’t even notice the sound of the automatic door to the cockpit sliding open. Entrapta rounds the chair as she speaks, waltzing around chaotically on her hair as she picks up various instruments that have been left on the console and examining them. 

“Uh…no, we haven’t!” Adora tells her, cool as a cucumber, though her cheeks are flushed. “Bow might have borrowed it. He was trying to reinforce some of the door panels earlier.” 

“Perfect, thank you. I’ll just go track him down. Maybe he’d like to help with some of the experiments I’m doing. I want to make her faster!” 

“That’s uh…a good idea!” Adora agrees, still flushed and her voice higher than normal. Catra knows neither of them think it’s a good idea. She must be as embarrassed as Catra is to go along with it. When Entrapta exits the room, the two of them look at each other again. Adora gives a rough, embarrassed laugh, her cheeks flushing even darker, and then she looks away. It seems as though they can’t even look at each other. The moment has passed. 

Flustered, Catra climbs from her lap to the arm of the chair. They sit in silence together, watching the stars. 

*****

When Catra opens her eyes, Adora is staring at her. 

No matter how many mornings it happens, it always surprises her. Her eyes go wide and she jerks a little before calming down, returning the smile her girlfriend is giving her. _Girlfriend_. It’s not something she’s sure she’ll ever get used to Adora actually being. 

Adora’s laughing at her now, reaching out to touch her cheek and run her fingers through her short hair. Catra purrs a little, leaning into the touch, trying to ignore how the strap of Adora’s pajama top has slid down her arm. There’s something ridiculously appealing about it, about her, lying so close to her in the small bed that was once Adora’s but is now theirs, sunlight glistening on her hair and her skin glowing a warm purple from the way the light is caught in the translucent purple canopy that hangs around the bed, encasing them in their own little world. 

“You’re not ever gonna get used to us waking up together like this, are you?” she asks, her voice warm and bright. How is it that she’s never tired in the morning? Catra can still barely keep her eyes open. 

“Probably not,” Catra admits, her words cutting off into a yawn at the end. Adora scratches her under her chin and her purring crescendos. Adora hasn’t purred with her in years but she does it now, those familiar little grumbly noises that she’s always made making Catra smile happily, making her own purr rumble so hard the bed vibrates. It feels so good to be lying together like this, just caught up in each other. The war is over, the confusion and unanswered questions that once dragged the air between them down gone and leaving them as weightless as the warmth of Adora’s breath across Catra’s face as she sighs happily, pushing in to squish their foreheads together. They just stare at each other for a moment, their eyes locking as they purr softly together, and then Adora does The Blink at her and Catra returns it, making Adora purr a little louder as she goes in for a kiss.

Catra captures her girlfriend’s warm lips with hers, bringing one hand up to caress through her loose golden hair and massage her scalp gently with her claws. Adora cups Catra’s face with both of her hands and they just kiss and kiss and kiss, Catra moving her hand to draw little shapes, hearts and stars on Adora’s upper arm with her fingertip. It feels so good to finally be able to kiss her like this and Catra just lets herself drown in it, drifting away from every problem she’s ever had, ignoring everything else to just get lost in her girlfriend for a little while. Everything seems to fall away and nothing exists except for her warmth. Honestly as far as Catra’s concerned, if nothing but Adora had existed for most of her life she’d barely have noticed. 

“I love you,” Adora whispers softly against her lips, nuzzling her forehead with hers, and a thousand tiny heart shaped bubbles grow and burst in Catra’s chest and she keeps purring as hard as she can, wrapping her tail around Adora’s leg and reveling in the shimmering warmth in her chest that builds higher and higher the more time she spends with Adora. 

“I love you too,” she whispers back, returning the nuzzle. It feels so good to be able to say it, to be able to tell her whenever she wants, to be able to _show_ her. There have been hundreds of times she’s held back from kissing her and now she doesn’t have to. In this moment, she doesn’t. She presses in for a slightly more passionate kiss, just a sliver of an opening between her lips that Adora matches with a little hum, and Adora scratches behind one of her ears and Catra just _vibrates_. 

In this moment she’s filled with complete and total contentment like she’s never felt, never even imagined she could feel. The warmth in her chest is almost too much, feels like it’s going to burst because there can’t possibly be enough room for this much love in one single body, and she kisses Adora like she’s the only thing holding her together, smiling against her mouth and squirming a little with happiness. It makes Adora laugh and she breaks away from the kiss to pepper kisses along her jaw and up the bridge of her nose, still scratching behind her ear. She draws back to look at Catra and the look on her face is one of pure, absolute love, one Catra realizes she’s seen her give her thousands of times over the years but she never knew what it meant. That thought clenches Catra’s heart in such a warm and pleasant way that she nearly cries.

‘ _Adora’s always loved me too_.’

Catra pounces on her, pinning her to the bed as she kisses her forehead, her hair, her cheeks and nose and jaw, just kisses every inch of her face she can reach and Adora is laughing and snorting, happy and warm and alive and safe, finally, after everything she’s safe and she’s here and they’re together. It’s been such a long time coming and Catra just wants her to herself, all to herself. She wants to spend the whole day in bed with her girlfriend just kissing her and holding her and showing her how much she loves her, now that she finally can. She keeps trailing kisses over Adora’s face and neck and shoulders, purring happily with the knowledge that they feel the same, that their futures are entwined inescapably, and that they can spend every morning like this for the rest of their lives. 

In the middle of a series of kisses to each finger on Adora’ right hand, Catra is interrupted by Adora leaning her head up and bumping it against hers a few times before she shifts to nuzzle her face along Catra’s jaw. It’s something Catra used to do from time to time, but it felt far too intimate and if Adora figured out what it meant it would be far too embarrassing, so she never did it all that much. Catra holds still and lets Adora scent mark her, more little heart bubbles forming in her chest and popping against her ribs as she tries to contain her happiness enough that she doesn’t just tackle Adora with reckless abandon again. 

“Do you know what it means?” Catra asks her breathlessly, and Adora nods, moving to her mouth and giving her a kiss. 

“It means you’re mine,” she tells her excitedly, kissing her cheek and twirling a few strands of her hair around her fingers. 

Catra purrs, a little thrill shooting through her chest, and she returns the possessive gesture Adora gave her before, feeling absolute contentment in both of them knowing its meaning and being able to engage in it anyway.

“And you’re mine,” she tells her happily, letting Adora pull her into a hug that leads into a series of clumsy uncoordinated kisses that make her heart soar. In the warm morning sun they stay wrapped up in each other. Catra knows that eventually they’ll be dragged off to breakfast with Bow and Glimmer and they’ll have things to do and take care of, responsibilities and obligations and that every moment can’t be just kissing and holding each other in their little world made just for the two of them. But for now they’re the only two people in it and in the soft glow coming through the gauzy curtain they stay tangled in each other, kissing and purring as they bask in the warmth of the feelings they can finally express freely and to their hearts’ content. 

“I love you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm working on a ridiculous amount of fics at the moment so it just remains to see which ends up being the next one I post :)


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